The Truth About The ‘Nice Guy’

Amina Feratovic, Contributor

For as long as the entertainment industry has been around, shows and films have featured the “nice guy” who, according to them, are the best for their female leads. While they may seem decent at first, over time television has shown that some of these guys aren’t so nice after all — here is why.

For starters, the “nice guys” are over the top. They try to set themselves apart by putting the female lead on a pedestal. They think everything is going great up until the girl rejects them, regardless of how sweet their gesture is, which is actually cringe worthy. After this, the guy reacts negatively and usually tries to put the girl or others down for rejecting them.

Take a look at “Pretty In Pink,” when Ducky gets mad that Andi, his love interest, loves someone else because he has been there for her the entire time and claims to have loved her endlessly. Essentially, Andi refused to lower her standards for Ducky and he was upset because he was a “nice guy.” If Ducky really was a nice guy, he’d acknowledge that she did not have any romantic feelings and just remain friends or leave the relationship altogether if he wanted.

Additionally, the “nice guy” cannot respect the other person’s boundaries or understand wanting to support themselves.

For example, Ross from “Friends,” delivers a barbershop quartet to Rachel’s office when she starts establishing her independence. A true nice guy would not disrupt her in her place of work in a manner like this. Rather, a real genuine guy would do other things, such as treat her to dinner after a hard day and support her progress. 

Lastly, the “nice guy” lives in his own head. The root of the “nice guy” is that he has his own vision of what this dream girl looks like, sounds like or even smells like. The girl in question is just a piece of a canvas in his envisioned masterpiece.

Take a look at the famous Netflix series “You.” The main character Joe Goldberg envisioned his first lover, Beck, as this girl who was perfect. She had everything he needed and he held an internal monologue about it, as if he were talking to her. She just needed to be his and only his.

What Joe failed to realize was that she had the right to reject him. But when Beck did reject him, he ended up kidnapping her which ultimately lead to murdering her. Yet, Joe still fails to see that he isn’t a nice guy that cares too much but actually a psychopath.

There are genuine nice guys out there. For example, Emmett from “Legally Blonde” who’s supportive and cares for Elle, even if she was being independent. He took his time to get to know her and genuinely loved her. Or look at Leslie and Ben from “Parks and Recreation” who exhibited a healthy, supportive and respectful relationship; their actions spoke louder than their words.

These genuinely good male characters show that you should be careful of those who call themselves “nice guys” because not all of them are.