Self-love is an action, not a state of feeling good.

Unfortunately, this world does not care enough to show us how we should love ourselves. We must do it on our own. It may be a big commitment and a long process, but it is worth it in the long-run.

You will find peace within yourself when you secure your walls. You can love a person as much as you love yourself. You start to realize your worth and allow people to treat you with respect because you are worth it.

Once you love yourself you no longer need to fill a void with anything toxic like smoking, alcohol or meaningless love. That hollowness will be filled with confidence, knowing your purpose in this world.

This world will not bloom flowers engrossed with love because the sad truth is that this world simply does not care.

You do not need that boy who has been rejecting you. You do not need to go back to the friends who harm you emotionally. Get out of that abusive relationship you are in. Stop settling for someone because you think you do not deserve better.

There are people out there who will love you, but you will never find them until you love yourself.

Here are some steps on achieving self-love:

1. You must get to know yourself first.

You cannot fall in love with yourself if you do not know who you are. You could get yourself a journal and each day ask yourself a question to get to know yourself. You will need to take the time out of your day to have some alone time for this. Alone time is key to self-love. When you love your own company, then you will not feel the fear of being alone.

2. Self-love becomes mindfulness.

Once you get to know yourself, you can acknowledge what you want, what you need and how to get it. You start to understand yourself and no longer need the approval of others or unnecessary attention. Once you get to know yourself, other people’s labels will not matter to you because you know yourself better than anyone else. It will give you a peaceful mind and make yourself more secure.

3. Mindfulness morphs into truly liking yourself.

Once you take the time to get to know yourself, you will start to actually like the person you see in the mirror. Now you have not accomplished loving yourself yet, but you will be more focused on what you are doing than what others are doing. By focusing on yourself, you start turning away from behaviors and patterns that get you into trouble and keep you stuck in the past. You learn to forgive yourself from past mistakes while learning and growing from them. Once you love yourself more you start taking care of your basic needs, like nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

4. Loving yourself requires boundaries.

You start to limit or say no to work, love or activities that harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually in relation to who you are. Start by getting rid of the negative people in your life. You will start to respect yourself more, which will lead you to happiness. Loving yourself will begin the process of forgiving yourself for past mistakes.

We humans can be really hard on ourselves. We punish ourselves way more than how others would. We tend to see the bad in ourselves and judge harsher. By loving yourself you accept your humanness, remembering that you are not perfect and you will make mistakes.

5. Love fights the fear.

When you love yourself, you stop being afraid of putting yourself out there in the world. You start making connections and getting to know people despite the fear of rejection because you no longer let other people determine your self-worth. Your intentions start to become pure and humble.

You do not look for your flaws. There becomes no need to bring others down to feel better about yourself. You do not get jealous of what others possess because you are satisfied with who you are as a person. Love stops the envy and starts the appreciation for others. You find yourself raising them up contrary to wanting to tear them down. Now it is time to focus on your goals and accomplish something new.