By Justin Muszynski
After surviving what some have called the most dangerous area in the world, Dan Choi said his biggest struggle came not in Iraq in the warzone, but when he returned home only to be outcast by the now notorious policy called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
“I come back home to America after surviving the triangle of death in Baghdad, Iraq, and I have my own enforced philosophy called ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’” said Choi with much emotion in his voice. “People in the gay community would say, ‘you don’t need to profess who you are, better that you stay alive, better that you keep your job, better that you keep your friends, better that you be powerful and maybe come out ten years from now.'”
Choi spoke in Alumni Hall on Wednesday to a decent sized crowd where he explained his reasons of why he decided to “come out” after serving for ten years under the policy that saw him discharged because he chose to expose his sexual orientation.
“Many people have asked me throughout my journey, ‘Choi, why did you come out when you did?’” said Choi. “I had been in the military for a long time and I knew that I was gay. I never understood love though, at 27 years old can you imagine coming back from war and I finally get to experience this idea of trust and growth, maturity, sharing and equality within a relationship.”
Choi, who has been arrested several times for protesting the policy that didn’t allow for gays and lesbians to reveal their true sexual orientation in the millitary, to this day faces federal charges that came about from his handcuffing himself to the fence outside the White House in protest to this policy.
While he faces charges that could lead to imprisonment, Choi says his biggest struggle in life is not the fear of being locked up, but when he decided to tell his parents that he was gay.
“I had to tell my parents because they’re the ones who judge me the most,” explained Choi. “I wasn’t fully liberated, I wasn’t fully out and I wasn’t fully proud until I told the people who hold the greatest judgment of me. When you confront the people who gave you life, all of the difficulties that come with that, that’s when you fully understand it.”
Choi was very serious about what he wanted to get across to the audience. However, he made light of several situations to loosen the mood. One of which was the irony in Choi’s lecture coming only one day after Robert Gates appeared at CCSU. When Choi went to sit down, he looked under the chair and made a joke to the crowd about the situation.
“I just want to make sure Robert Gates didn’t plant anything here,” kidded Choi.
Choi also said that he had moments himself where he wished he was like other people who were straight and even went as far as to pray for God to change his sexual orientation.
“Dear God, let me just be straight or just take my life away, just make me disappear so I don’t have to deal with this,” said Choi.
He tried to balance an appearance of seriousness and comedy to keep the crowd engaged. Often Choi gave personal anecdotes into his childhood and young adult years.
“At one point I said, ‘God, let me just level with you, just make me pop a boner for Michelle Pfeiffer.’”
In 2011, the Government ended the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that had been in place for 18 years, which that saw thousands of men and women discharged from the armed forces.
Through all the joking and laughing, Choi did have one thing he wanted everyone in the room to take out of his lecture.
“My message to you if you don’t remember anything, remember this; if you’re gay, God made you gay, so love yourself.”