By Nicholas Proch

Since when does Leonardo DiCaprio produce teenage love stories disguised as classic fables? It may have been something he’s decided to do since being stuck in a dream world. Maybe he actually lost his mind on the set of Shutter Island. Whatever the case may be, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what this film was.

Red Riding Hood isn’t a fantasy. Nor thriller. Nor drama. Nor teenage love story. Nor an excuse to watch Gary Oldman lose his shit for two hours. It’s somehow all of these things. That’s right, all; and somehow at the end of the night, you don’t leave satisfied.

Let’s back it up a little bit and figure out what just happened.

Most audiences are going to go into the theater expecting to see a story about a girl who finds her way to ‘grandma’s house’ only to find that grandma has been replaced by the ‘big bad wolf.’ Both of these elements come into play, but not in the sense that anyone is expecting. There is a gap between the expected and the executed from this film. From the writer who brought you Orphan, which is equally as chaotic, David Johnson brings you his take on the classic story.

Within the first several minutes of the film you are introduced to a village, which seems to be set in post-medieval times. The men work as blacksmiths and woodcutters, while the women prepare the homes for dinner. Set in the middle of what looks like the Montana wilderness, this would be the outdoorsman’s dream environment…if there wasn’t a werewolf terrorizing this picturesque town on every full moon.

The story doesn’t move forward until Gary Oldman [The Dark Knight, The Professional] makes his appearance; about 35 minutes into the movie. He plays a priest, or its equivalent of the time, who has experience ridding towns of werewolves. Oldman, as usual, is on his game. If you’ve seen him play, and succeed at, the deranged character with spit coming out of his mouth, then you know what to expect. The problem lies with the cast around him.

Amanda Seyfried [Mamma Mia, Dear John] is boring to watch on the screen. It’s as if she doesn’t ever fully believe the role she is in, and why would she? She’s the center of attention in a film about a werewolf who sends a village into psychosis. Seyfried’s eyes do more acting than she actually does. It may be the role she is playing, but she hardly said anything for the duration of the film.

Somehow, there is a love story tied into this. Arranged marriages always have their problems. Seyfried’s character, Valerie or Red Riding Hood, doesn’t want to marry who they’ve arranged for her to wed. The premise is interesting, but it’s so clichéd. She was set up to marry into a richer family, doesn’t that count for anything? Instead she wanted to be with the guy who will cut wood for the rest of his life. You can’t fault true love, but it never actually feels true in this case.

There are some very good plot twists along the way. Without giving away too much, you should expect to be surprised at the end of the film (or not surprised if you’re paying any attention). Oldman is brought in to figure out who the werewolf is, and most will think they know who it is, only to be shown wrong.

The shining moments of the film mostly revolve around the cinematography and special effects. The audio and the original score for the film set the perfect mood and don’t drag down the story any more than it already does on its own. The camera work and editing are phenomenal. Filled with flashbacks, side stories and point-of-view camera angles to capture the perspective of the villain, it would have been easy to allow all these elements to bleed together. They don’t. They work together cleanly. The special effects don’t make a huge impact, but they stand their ground when called upon. A completely-computer-generated-werewolf-failure would have been detrimental to the film, but they’ve created a great looking beast.

If you’re looking for a predictable fantasy-thriller, then don’t waste your time with this movie. If you’re looking for more than that, the same applies. Red Riding Hood tries to be a lot of things, but it may have bit off more than it can chew.