We are all guilty of it. Sometimes you catch yourself daydreaming in the middle of class and then miss half of what the teacher was saying. Sometimes you listen to a song and feel like you are in a movie. Other times you meet new people and you invent a world where you create the person’s personality and make up what they say or do. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. However, sometimes we all cross a line and we begin to obsess over the ideas we create in our heads. So we need a reality check.

Understand why you are thinking about it. 

There are reasons for everything. Whatever it is, you should understand why you are thinking about it and what’s the underlying cause. If you are always thinking about making a healthy friendship, then maybe you are not satisfied with your current friend group. If you are thinking about someone crushing on you then perhaps you are longing for a relationship or someone to admire you. Once you recognize the reason why you are overthinking, it becomes much easier to stop thinking so much.

Understand that those thoughts are because you want something and it’s okay.

You do not need to feel ashamed of whatever you are fantasizing. Remember, we all are guilty of it. You don’t need to stop daydreaming about what you want to do. Fantasizing is normal, if you try to stop, you might as well stop watching movies and stop listening to music. Repressing your feelings and thoughts is only going to hurt you; beating yourself up will not get you anywhere. Learn to accept that the reason you are fantasizing is that you are human and have needs and desires that you fulfill in your mind. 

Understand that reality is different.

Often, people mistake their fantasy world for reality. When you mix those two up, you will put your emotions into a dangerous field. You need to be aware of the difference between your fantasy and reality. Your fantasy is something you create in your head. Just because someone in your head is your best friend doesn’t mean in reality they will respond the same way in real life. You think you got an A on that test in your fantasy but failed it in real life. The world is not controllable, but if you acknowledge the difference, you will feel less pressure and disappointment. 

Understand that you shouldn’t obsess.

Excess of anything is terrible. If you are fantasizing every minute of your life, such as zoning out in your class or friend’s conversation, then maybe take a step back. Understand you may be crossing a line. If you daydream a little too much and start living in your fantasy, it could be hazardous. Acknowledgement is one way that can help you stop. When you acknowledge why you are obsessing over a particular fantasy, it means you want it sincerely, and you should give it a try and pay attention in real life. Sometimes, people want to live in their fantasy because they like the control that reality lacks, but you have to tell yourself you can’t live in a world based in your head. That maybe reality has something better to offer. You may or may not have your fantasy come true, but if you stick to it, you will start losing interest on what life has to offer and may miss out on opportunities. 

If you want it, you can make it happen.

Who says your fantasy must be a fantasy? If you like someone and are thinking about them, why don’t you have a chat with him/her and get to know him/her? If you want a good grade in a particular class, then work hard and get that good grade. If you want to become a famous singer, then go audition. Usually, we want to stay in our fantasy because we fear rejection of reality. Yes, rejection is possible, but there is also a chance that your dreams can come true, and you will never know until you get a reality check and start making progress.  

But know not everything can become real.

If you are fantasizing about flying up in the sky, don’t try to do that. Sometimes we must accept certain things are just your thoughts and nothing more. If you keep fantasizing about a person who keeps rejecting you or is emotionally unavailable, it’s okay to let it go. Understand that sometimes something better will happen, and that fantasy is only hurting you, giving your false hopes and disappointing yourself. Sometimes, you have to let go of the toxic thoughts. Once you understand that you can do better, that fantasy will disappear. But it’s okay to give yourself time to heal.