By Rachael Bentley
Porn. It’s all over the place. It’s on the Internet, On-Demand, in video stores and in magazines at your local gas station. In some countries it’s on page three of your daily newspaper. It’s almost impossible to Google search anything these days with out at least one picture of a penis popping up on your screen. Porn is one of those things that isn’t going to go away. I think most people would agree that a large majority of the male population watch porn on a semi-regular basis, and if that does not apply, then they have at least watched porn once in their life.
But it isn’t just guys. Every young woman I interviewed admitted (as if guilty) that they have watched porn. What is the big deal? Most said it was out of pure curiosity, trying to figure out why guys liked porn so much. After meeting a friend for lunch, she told me her thoughts on the subject. “Now I know where guys get all these crazy ideas from when it comes to sex! Don’t they know that it’s totally ridiculous to expect that a girl would do these things during real sex? There is a reason porn stars get paid to do their job…”
Perhaps she has a point. When guys watch porn, does it raise their level of expectations when it comes to having sex with someone? Perhaps, but I do not think all men are guilty of this. Porn delivers the sexual excitement that men need, because they do have different sexual needs than women. Most guys know that the porn they watch and enjoy is not what their partner would be interested in.
Let’s take a moment to turn the interrogation lamp around and take a look at women and their own porn habits. One of the largest misconceptions about porn is that you have to watch it. But what about those romance novels that many females like to read? You find yourself getting a faster heart rate when you start reading about your leading lady and her man in a situation where they are alone and there is a bed nearby. Do you think that reaction is any different from a guy who stumbles across a tempting porn video? No.
Who is to say that the books we read and the romantic comedies we watch don’t make us females raise the standards bar for men? I know I am always hoping that the leading man in my life will one day have some corny proposal and then whisk me off to Paris to get married. Newsflash, we are broke and paying off college loans. It isn’t going to happen. Just like most guys know that there is no chance you would agree to have a three-some on the home plate at Fenway.
There are many couples in the world that have had serious issues when it comes to porn. Either the guy is watching something that completely disturbs his significant other, or his lady is a total prude and will not allow him to watch porn under any circumstance because its “emotional cheating.” From what I have learned over the past week, the easiest way to level the playing field is to watch it together, and take the mystery out of it. Ladies, if your man is watching porn, and it stops you from sleeping at night, then talk to him about it. Ask him why he likes to watch porn and what is so appealing about it. You may find that he just feels lonely, and that watching porn takes away from the fact that having sex in real life is uncertain and can cause a lot of stress. You may find that he has unfulfilled sexual desires, and if you are not comfortable with helping him fulfill them, then try not to get mad when he goes for the next best option. I’m quite sure if he could do that kinky stuff in real life he would not be sitting in front of his computer.
