February marks both Black History Month and Valentine’s Day, providing an opportunity to explore how some Black men experience love and relationships.  

Some explore how their upbringings impact their relationships today through the lenses of personal histories, cultural identities and social contexts. 

Dyan Cadet, Florida, said that growing up, love in his family sometimes felt conditional. He said he believes this has affected how he approaches relationships today. 

“It always felt like love was based on what I did, and it definitely shapes how I interact with women and people in general now,” Cadet said. 

Cadet said that early experiences of love can impact how one builds future relationships, especially in terms of emotional connection. 

Elijah Hooks, Florida, said he received a lot of love from his mother and grandmother. This support played a big role in how he treats women in his life today. 

“It’s shaped how I treat women with respect and appreciation. I was raised by strong women, so that’s always been part of how I see relationships,” Hooks said. 

Hooks said growing up around strong, loving women helped him develop a deep sense of respect and care for others, which he carries into his relationships today. 

Latrell Hogan, of Chipley, Florida, said his experience was influenced by the love he saw in his grandparents, even though his parents divorced. He says this shaped his view of love but also created a fear of loss. 

“I saw how much my grandparents loved each other. That love influenced me, but I’m also scared of losing love like my parents did when they divorced,” Hogan said. 

Hogan said the love he saw in his grandparents gave him something to strive for but also created insecurities due to his parents’ separation. 

Hooks said the love he learned from his family has become second nature in how he shows affection in his relationships. 

“Love is about what you do, not just what you say. I show my love by being caring and respectful,” Hooks said. 

Hogan said his parents’ divorce left him with lingering insecurities growing up. 

“I try to show love like my grandfather did for my grandmother, but sometimes I still feel like nothing will last, like I saw with my parents,” Hogan said. 

Hogan said love in the Black community feels different from what’s often shown in mainstream media. 

“Where I’m from, there’s a different kind of love. People love each other with a sense of power and peace, and it feels different from what you usually see in media, like the image of a happy White couple,” Hogan said. 

Author Bell Hooks of Hopkinsville, Kentucky, has written about love in communities like the Black community. 

Hooks stated in her book, “All About Love,” that love in the black community is about caring for others in your community and is not limited to individual romantic feelings for your partner. 

Elijah Hooks said that love, for him, goes beyond romance and includes taking care of family and friends. 

“For me, loving as a Black man means being there for my partner, my family, and my friends—no matter what happens,” Hooks explained. 

Hogan said his view of love also includes platonic relationships. 

“To love as a Black man means being there for my partner and my family. It’s about unconditional support, not just romance,” Hogan shared.